Words of Wisdom: Template

How many years have you been married?

 

What branch of service?

 

How many years of service?

 

Briefly describe your overall outlook on military life? 

 

What is your very favorite part of being a military spouse?

 

What do you do for yourself to maintain a positive outlook as a military spouse?

 

If you could go back to the beginning of your service member’s career, what advice would you give yourself with the added benefit of hindsight? 

 

 

That’s great advice from Tara. Do you ever wish you had gotten rid of some of your household items to lighten your load? What would you go back and ditch or store if you could do it again?

Would you like to share about what a typical day looks like in your role as a military spouse? We would love to hear from you. Click here to submit an entry. 

Day-in-the-Life Template

Welcome to a Day-in-the-Life where we get an inside look at how individual military spouses fill a typical day and keep their wits about them by hunting the good stuff. 

*****

Claire is an active duty Army spouse and has been wearing that hat for past six of her 16 married years. The one thing she can’t live without is her planner.

6:00 am

 

8:00 am

 

10:00 am

12:00 pm

2:00 pm

 

4:00 pm

 

6:00 pm

 

8:00 pm

 

10:00 pm

 

Want to share about a typical day in your shoes? Submit your Day-in-the-Life here.

Day-in-the-Life: Victoria (23)

Welcome to a Day-in-the-Life where we get an inside look at how individual military spouses fill a typical day and keep their wits about them by hunting the good stuff. 

*****

Hi friends! My name is Victoria! I am 23 (yes, I know I’m a baby). My precious husband and I have been married for two and a half years! My husband is in the Army and has been active duty for two years! One thing I could not live without would be coffee. Oh yes, silly I know, but you definitely do not want to see me with out coffee in my system.

 

6:00 am

*cue alarm sound*

During this season of my life, I have all of the best intentions about waking up at 6:00 am…but the snooze button just looks so nice. I typically hit the snooze button a couple of times (more like 10) and then eventually roll out of the bed around 7:00 am.

My sweet husband has already left at this point in the morning, and I’m pretty sure has already finished PT and is off to breakfast. I, on the other hand, make the bed as soon as I get up or it will NOT happen. Then I make my way to the glorious, ever so constant Cuisinart coffee maker. The night before, I can set my coffee pot on a timer, so when I come downstairs *BOOM* the coffee is ready. (It’s the little things, ladies!)

I pour my first cup of joe, with a little half-n-half and some raw cane sugar. Around this point, with coffee in hand, I make my way to my favorite spot in the kitchen….the table. We have this lovely view of trees out of our kitchen window and the way the sun peeks through them at this hour makes for some glorious, golden light. I then read whatever devotional I am currently reading at the time. Journal. Pray. Second cup of coffee and some fruit with yogurt for breakfast!

 

8:00 am

After time with Jesus (and some coffee), I feel like I can properly begin my day. Disclaimer, please believe me when I say, I am in no way “perfect” at this and my early mornings do not all ways look this way. I would encourage you to grant yourself some grace.

Anywho, on a typical week day, I would attempt to get in some sort of workout; whether that be a walk, a run, or a little workout DVD. I can honestly say I never regret working out. I always feel better, and I am WAY more productive through the day. My week to week, Monday through Friday are continually different. Personally, I enjoy change so that is fine by me.

 

10:00 am

At this point in the day, my schedule really depends on what day it is! Mondays are my school days. I am currently finishing my Bachelors degree in Psychology, with a focus in Christian counseling. So, on Mondays, I devote the entire day to just…school. Yes, I am a little brain dead at the end of the day, but the work gets done.

Tuesdays are PWOC days! Oh how grateful I am that the Lord placed PWOC in my life. It’s truly a beautiful community of ladies that encourage me in my walk with the Lord. Wednesday through Friday looks different every week! Between my internship for my degree, coffee or walks with friends, my time gets filled very quickly.

 

12:00 pm

Lunch time! (a.k.a- last night’s leftovers) Anybody else do lunch-time leftovers? Since it’s just my husband and me, no babies yet, we have so. many. leftovers. I find it really difficult to cook for just two people, but my husband is a great sport about eating tacos twice in a 48 hour period.

 

2:00 pm

By this time in the day, I am typically home from being out all morning. So the afternoons are when I do some laundry, unload the dishwasher, and complete any other house tasks.

*Funny story moment*

So laundry is quite an adventure in our household….and here’s why. When we first moved into this home, we quickly realized that we needed a washer and dryer. This would be our second big, adult purchase, after our new (*used*) car that we purchase weeks prior.

One of the ladies who was working in the housing office told us about this great place to by a used washer and dryer for dirt cheap! Being newly married at the time, we were not about to drop a grand on a new washer and dryer. So we thought why not give this place try!

We drove to this lovely establishment to find that the appliances were indeed dirt cheap, but would they work properly was the question? So for some reason, we continued to look and ended up finding a decent looking washer and a dryer that looked like it would work most of the time. So we bought them.

Days later the men delivered the set of appliances to our home. Here’s where it gets interesting. The washer got into place with minimal hassle, but the dryer was dropped out of the truck, left in the rain while the washer was being installed and the dryer ended up not working. So many calls, and two “new” dryers later….we have a working dryer.

After a few days of the washer working beautifully, it began to not work! But we were able to rig the washer, by placing free weights on the lid so the cycle would run. So long story, kinda short, we have a “working” washer and dryer….that we have to pray over and cross our fingers every time we do laundry. All that to say laundry is an adventure and makes for a good laugh now.

 

4:00 pm

Around 4:30 or 5:00 pm, I get a call from my husband to let me know that he is on the way home! Best call of the day. He gets home, and we put his work stuff away and he helps me with dinner.

6:00 pm

Dinner time! I am not very creative when I comes to dinners (I’m getting better), but on Tuesdays we have Tacos! Taco Tuesday! We typically try to eat dinner around 6:30 pm, so we can have time to just enjoy eating dinner together. Over dinner, we exchange detailed accounts of each of our days. I love this little tradition. It’s sweet, and we get to feel like we have a peek into the other person’s day.

8:00 pm

After dinner, we put our dishes away and prepare lunches and coffee for the next day. My husband is super organized and efficient. The Lord knew I needed a man like that.

Once we are prepared for the next day, we wind down by watching tv. Our current favorite show is Designated Survivor on ABC! We eventually make our way upstairs, brush our teeth, and are in bed by 9:30 pm! I know it’s early, but we are both nicer and more civil when we have had ample amounts of sleep.

10:00 pm

Oh, we only stay up this late on the weekends 😉 Our weekends consist of cinnamon rolls, late and slow mornings, and watching movies!

Want to share about a typical day in your shoes? Submit your Day-in-the-Life here.

Day-in-the-Life: Amy (41)

Welcome to a Day-in-the-Life where we get an inside look at how individual military spouses fill a typical day and keep their wits about them by hunting the good stuff. 

*****

My name is Amy. I am 41 years old and have been married 19 years. My husband has served in the Army for 17 years. One thing that I can’t live without is chocolate!

6:00 am:

My day begins at the ungodly hour of 4:00 am. I’ve always been an early riser but have found that these two hours of ‘me time’ are crucial to surviving deployment-induced solo parenting and working full time.

I begin my day with 45 minutes of walking or running. I wish I was running more but let me be honest, at 4:00 am I don’t have much energy to push myself. I like being outside because it is so quiet and calm. This morning I’m listening to Melanie Dale’s podcast “Lighten Up”. Her guest for today is Candace Payne AKA “Chewbacca Mom” and she is sharing how she has joy despite some difficult life situations that she has experienced.

This message of joy is timely as I am feeling the exact opposite right now. It’s been a difficult week of parenting but Candace’s words remind me that God uses every situation for His good and it is my choice to embrace the joy in every situation.

I come home from my morning walk and spend the next 20 minutes reading my Bible and writing in my journal. I savor the cup of caramel vanilla cream coffee that is my companion on these early mornings. I finish my time out with a quick glance at Facebook to catch up with family and friends who are spread all over the country and world.

I have 30 minutes to get myself ready before kids start to wake up. I make my bed and go downstairs to unload the dishwasher which was run the night before. I pack up our lunch boxes which are put together the night before as well. Slowly the girls come downstairs and eat their breakfast, pack up their backpacks, and get ready for their day. We go over our day’s activities and we scatter to our respective schools.

 

8:00 am:

I work with at-risk kids at a local school. These are kids who struggle academically, socially, and behaviorally. It’s not an easy job, but one that I feel called to in this season of life. I get to be the first person that kids see when they get to school in the morning.

I always make a point to greet everyone by name and welcome them back. I get lots of hugs, hear stories of their games the night before, and even get some complaints and concerns that I know I will have to investigate once school begins. Once everyone is in their classrooms, I begin to make some phone calls to parents, meet with students who are struggling, and get a quick moment to sit down to catch up on some documentation.

I had a conversation with a parent this morning about how we have noticed increased behaviors in her child and she shares that Dad has been TDY for the past month. The teacher was not aware and knowing it would have been really helpful in working with this particular student. It reminded me how I sometimes get too used to my husband coming and going and how I forget that these changes greatly impact our children in different ways.

 

10:00 am:

I am halfway through my morning when I realize that I am getting hungry. I usually snack on half of a Larabar or get a handful of cashews to eat. I don’t always get the chance to eat something because I am constantly on call to go work with students around our building. I get summoned to one of the classrooms to remove a student who is being disruptive. I often joke that much of my job can be summarized by the last bullet point on nearly every job description: “All other duties as assigned.”

My principal often has miscellaneous jobs that she needs done or asks to me investigate a parent concern. One of the things that I like most about my job is that no day is ever the same. This is my first time working during a deployment and I am so thankful that it helps my days to fly by.

At 11:20 each day I head into the lunchroom to assist with setting up for lunch. We begin seating kids for lunch at 11:30 and the first 30 minutes are the youngest students who require much assistance to sit down and need help opening their prepackaged food and drink boxes. I clean up spills, and encourage them to eat. As lunch progresses, the kids get older and are more independent. Lunch is a more informal part of the day and it’s an opportunity to really get to talk to and get to know our students.

12:00 pm:

All the kids have finished eating and the last ones are out at recess which means I finally get to eat my lunch. I’m the last person to eat lunch in the building and I always bring in some leftovers from dinner the night before. My phone dings and I see that I have gotten a text from my husband who is getting ready to start his shift.

He had a recent schedule change and is waiting to catch the bus to head to his office. We talk about our respective days over the next 15 minutes. There is so much about his job that he can’t share so there are days when our conversations are one-sided. We’ve both had a hard week and I attribute most of this to my growing realization that we are both so ‘war weary.’

We don’t know of any other military families who have been through as many deployments as us and we are JUST SO TIRED. We have three years left until retirement so there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The op-tempo of the military life has been challenging and we are growing more ready by the day to leave it behind. There have been many blessings along the way but it has been at a great cost to our family. We say our goodbyes and each head back to work.

2:00 pm:

After lunch I begin to do some last minute preparations for deployment group which starts at 2:30. We have a large population of military kids at our school and so we have a weekly deployment group that meets. Our group is so large that we have to break it down into two groups, so each group meets every other week.

Working with the military kids is one of the favorite parts of my job and I know that it is reassuring to many of them that my own family is right there in the deployment trenches with them. Our group always begins with a time of sharing as kids announce when their deployed parent has left or come home. It’s a time of rejoicing and sadness depending on the situation.

Today we are spending our time on a craft making paper bag soldier puppets. We allow them to choose a male or female soldier to color and before long, we have a room full of excited students showing off their puppet which they have colored to look exactly like their military parent. We only get 30 minutes with the kids and I often wish that we had more time or were able to meet with a smaller group of students, because the need is that great for them to understand that someone knows what they are going through.

It’s almost time for kids to be dismissed for the day and so I’m busy cleaning up from our craft and rushing to collect the kids who ride the bus or are going to an after-school program. Once everyone has left the building, I finish up some paperwork, update some teachers on issues with their students, and prepare to head home.

 

4:00 pm:

When I get home, I find both of my kids have had their afternoon snack and have started on their homework. I love having older kids who are able to do most of their homework independently. I go through today’s mail and quiz both kids on how their day went and what teachers need for them to do that night.

I collect their lunch boxes which have been placed on the kitchen counter and put the dirty containers into the dishwasher. I look at the menu posted on my refrigerator to see what I have planned for dinner tonight.

There are many things that I dislike about deployments, but one thing that I do like, is being able to cook simpler meals. I only have to cook a few days each week and the rest of the days we eat leftovers. Once homework is done and their rooms are cleaned up, I allow them to watch 30 minutes of TV. When dinner is ready, I’ll call them to come help set the table.

 

6:00 pm:

We eat dinner together and always go over our ‘highs’ and ‘lows’ for the day. This simple tradition helps all of us to open up about how our day went. I always like to ask my kids if anything funny happened that day at school. After our meal is complete, the girls help me clean up and load the dishwasher. Counters are wiped off, dining room chairs pushed in, and school computers get plugged in to charge overnight.

I like things neat and orderly around the house and have trained my daughters to get into a routine of having coats and backpacks ready by the door. The girls head up to shower and I usually finish up a few household chores or read my book. I am an avid reader and like to read every night. My energy and patience are starting to run thin and so I put on my comfy pajamas, get teeth brushed, and take my contacts out.

 

8:00 pm:

My goal each night is to have kids in their bedrooms by 8:00-8:15. I always tell them that they don’t have to go to sleep but they can do a quiet activity in bed like read, draw, or color. My oldest is always ready to go straight to sleep. My youngest would stay up until midnight if I let her.

I go into each of their rooms to tuck them in. I’m ready to fall asleep myself but nighttime is always a time when they suddenly become talkative and self-reflective. I try not to rush these moments. I pray with each of them and say goodnight. I immediately go to my own bed and spent the last 45 minutes of my night checking Facebook and reading my book. Lights are out by 9:00 pm because my morning wake up call comes way too early.

 

 

 

Want to share about a typical day in your shoes? Submit your Day-in-the-Life here.

Day in the Life: Hannah (36)

Welcome to a Day-in-the-Life where we get an inside look at how individual military spouses fill a typical day and keep their wits about them by hunting the good stuff. 

*****

I’m Hannah, a 36 year old small business owner, homeschool mom, and wife of a retired veteran. My husband and I have been married for 12 years. My husband served in the Marines and the Army. I can’t live without coffee, chocolate, and exercise. You can find me at www.hannahstoffel.com.

Retirement sprang up on us a bit sooner than we expected. The transition wasn’t perfect but I’m continually amazed at God’s faithfulness and His blessings. If I could give any new military spouse one piece of advice, it would be this; military life is what you make it. Get involved in your military community and enjoy what each duty station has to offer. Being a military spouse is an amazing thing and it goes by SO fast – enjoy each day! 

 

6:00 am:

This is my quiet time. Most mornings I’m up at 5:00 am. While I often set my alarm, I really don’t need to. We have three cats who have clever ways of getting me out of bed if they feel I’m sleeping in too long. If you’ve ever had cats, then you know what I’m talking about.

I empty the dishwasher, put on a pot of coffee, have my lemon water and feed the cats. After my few chores I do my devotions. I find if I don’t spend time in my Bible early in the morning then it just doesn’t get done.

I also use this time to work my business. I’m a Certified Health Coach. My primary focus is teaching women how to eat to look and feel their best, with an emphasis on women struggling with adult acne.

My own health struggles and struggle with acne brought me to this place so it’s all very near and dear to my heart. I write content for my blog and work on my book (so weird to say out loud). I find I write best early in the morning, when my mind feels fresh and there are no distractions from the day.

 

8:00 am:

By now everyone in the house is awake and any hope of me continuing to write is lost. My husband is currently finishing his bachelor’s degree. As a full time student his schedule varies some from day to day. Some days he’s up and out early and other days he doesn’t leave until 9:00 am.

Regardless of when my husband leaves for the day, he’s not a person who requires breakfast so I only have to worry about fixing something for myself and our girls. I’m a bit obsessed with nutrition but I also LOVE food and taste really matters to me.

I use a nutrition shake every morning. The irony of this situation? I am NOT a fan of smoothies or shakes – like, at all. I know people equate them with health and when people think of eating healthy, a nutrition shake or smoothie often comes to mind. I find smoothies leave me feeling as if I haven’t eaten anything (since you don’t actually chew), and leave me wanting more.

Despite this I believe in the nutrition so as a compromise I make myself a thicker textured, smoothie bowl and top with it with unsweetened shredded coconut, raw nuts, and frozen organic blueberries. I can’t even tell you the difference between using this method versus simply mixing the shake with almond milk and blending it. It’s like night and day! I make a similar version of this for my girls.

After breakfast, we start our school day. History, geography, and a short devotion make up our morning. I also try to knock out spelling or math.

 

10:00 am:

By this time my girls are ready for a break. It’s the routine I’ve established so I can fit in my workout. They’ve become so accustomed to our routine that the few times I’ve tried to change it, it’s completely blown up in my face.

It’s important to me to exercise and I’m not a woman who is content with ‘taking the stairs’ or simply ‘counting my steps for the day’. When I say exercise, I mean a full hour of devoted time, showing up for myself and really sweating.

I use Tracy Anderson Method which I love for many reasons. Two main reasons are: 1) I can do it in my own home which eliminates traveling to a gym, making sure I have the latest, cutest leggings and that my hair looks half way decent. 2) It’s completely changed my body, especially post babies, unlike any other fitness program I have ever done.

Some days my girls hang out with me while I work out. During this time I give them freedom to choose what they want to do. Usually they play together with Barbies or horses.

By now we are all getting hungry for lunch but I like to get a little more school work finished before we eat. We usually do a handwriting assignment followed by reading. A funny secret is my girls love to watch “I Love Lucy” during our lunch break. They know in order for that to happen their reading and handwriting has to be done. It gives them a bit of incentive to finish on time.

12:00 pm:

Typically we’re finishing up lunch. My girls like to eat grilled cheese sandwiches. I always add a fruit and a vegetable to their plate. Green beans, cherry tomatoes, and carrots with ranch dressings are their favorites. Apples, bananas, oranges, and grapes are all commonplace in our house. Basically whatever fruit is in season you’ll find it in my home.

My lunch varies based on my mood. While I’m not a vegan, many of my meals are! I do a lot of stir-fry type meals and work off of whatever I have in my fridge at the time. I typically always have zucchini to make zucchini noodles.

I always have cabbage on hand because when you shred it, it immediately becomes a base for just about any dish. I do everything from egg roll-in-a-bowl to a stir-fry pizza using cabbage. I also like to keep homemade black bean burgers on hand. Depending on the flavor of my stir-fry I either add raw nuts, a fried egg or a black bean burger for extra protein.

On my husband’s shorter days, he comes home around this time. He’s usually starving. Remember, he doesn’t eat breakfast?! I like to give him some space in the kitchen so he can fix his cup of coffee and grab some lunch.

2:00 pm:

We are finishing up our school day. Usually by 3:00 pm we’ve completed all our assignments. The girls play outside and quite often we’ll go for a walk together. It’s nice to soak in the sunshine and fresh air.

Running my own business while being a homeschool mom means finding pockets of time in the day that suit both ventures. I have learned that it’s not wise for me to try to mix the two.

When I try to work on my business during the school day, I end up not doing either thing very well. It works best when I give both jobs the full, undivided attention they deserve. I use this time to finish up any work that didn’t get completed in the morning. It’s also the time of day that I schedule one-on-one sessions with my private coaching clients.

 

4:00 pm:

I am preparing dinner. It’s important to me to get dinner started on time. I prefer not to eat late and I feel like kids get whiny when they have to wait too long for dinner. Lately, I’ve been out of my normal routine a bit and dinner prep hasn’t been happening until 5:00 pm, which means we don’t eat until 6:00 pm.

As I’m writing this, I’m reminded of how much better I feel when dinner is served earlier in the evening. I simply don’t feel as frantic about it. My husband is home every evening so we always have dinner together as a family.

 

6:00 pm:

Dinner has been served. The kitchen is cleaned up. The girls are getting their showers or bath. My husband is a big help to me during this part of the day. I’m usually exhausted at this point and ready for bed. Remember, I wake up at 5:00 am!

 

8:00 pm:

Our girls have been read to, teeth have been brushed, and they are put to bed. My husband and I watch TV together. We find a series we like on Netflix or Hulu. This is our time to talk about our day and relax.

 

10:00 pm:

By 10:00 I am sound asleep. My husband usually stays up a bit later depending on his schedule for the following day.

*****

As a bonus to Dependent Diaries readers, Hannah has offered a free resource for those who may be struggling with clear skin. Follow the instructions here.

 

Want to share about a typical day in your shoes? Submit your Day-in-the-Life here.