Day-in-the-Life: Victoria (23)

Welcome to a Day-in-the-Life where we get an inside look at how individual military spouses fill a typical day and keep their wits about them by hunting the good stuff. 

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Hi friends! My name is Victoria! I am 23 (yes, I know I’m a baby). My precious husband and I have been married for two and a half years! My husband is in the Army and has been active duty for two years! One thing I could not live without would be coffee. Oh yes, silly I know, but you definitely do not want to see me with out coffee in my system.

 

6:00 am

*cue alarm sound*

During this season of my life, I have all of the best intentions about waking up at 6:00 am…but the snooze button just looks so nice. I typically hit the snooze button a couple of times (more like 10) and then eventually roll out of the bed around 7:00 am.

My sweet husband has already left at this point in the morning, and I’m pretty sure has already finished PT and is off to breakfast. I, on the other hand, make the bed as soon as I get up or it will NOT happen. Then I make my way to the glorious, ever so constant Cuisinart coffee maker. The night before, I can set my coffee pot on a timer, so when I come downstairs *BOOM* the coffee is ready. (It’s the little things, ladies!)

I pour my first cup of joe, with a little half-n-half and some raw cane sugar. Around this point, with coffee in hand, I make my way to my favorite spot in the kitchen….the table. We have this lovely view of trees out of our kitchen window and the way the sun peeks through them at this hour makes for some glorious, golden light. I then read whatever devotional I am currently reading at the time. Journal. Pray. Second cup of coffee and some fruit with yogurt for breakfast!

 

8:00 am

After time with Jesus (and some coffee), I feel like I can properly begin my day. Disclaimer, please believe me when I say, I am in no way “perfect” at this and my early mornings do not all ways look this way. I would encourage you to grant yourself some grace.

Anywho, on a typical week day, I would attempt to get in some sort of workout; whether that be a walk, a run, or a little workout DVD. I can honestly say I never regret working out. I always feel better, and I am WAY more productive through the day. My week to week, Monday through Friday are continually different. Personally, I enjoy change so that is fine by me.

 

10:00 am

At this point in the day, my schedule really depends on what day it is! Mondays are my school days. I am currently finishing my Bachelors degree in Psychology, with a focus in Christian counseling. So, on Mondays, I devote the entire day to just…school. Yes, I am a little brain dead at the end of the day, but the work gets done.

Tuesdays are PWOC days! Oh how grateful I am that the Lord placed PWOC in my life. It’s truly a beautiful community of ladies that encourage me in my walk with the Lord. Wednesday through Friday looks different every week! Between my internship for my degree, coffee or walks with friends, my time gets filled very quickly.

 

12:00 pm

Lunch time! (a.k.a- last night’s leftovers) Anybody else do lunch-time leftovers? Since it’s just my husband and me, no babies yet, we have so. many. leftovers. I find it really difficult to cook for just two people, but my husband is a great sport about eating tacos twice in a 48 hour period.

 

2:00 pm

By this time in the day, I am typically home from being out all morning. So the afternoons are when I do some laundry, unload the dishwasher, and complete any other house tasks.

*Funny story moment*

So laundry is quite an adventure in our household….and here’s why. When we first moved into this home, we quickly realized that we needed a washer and dryer. This would be our second big, adult purchase, after our new (*used*) car that we purchase weeks prior.

One of the ladies who was working in the housing office told us about this great place to by a used washer and dryer for dirt cheap! Being newly married at the time, we were not about to drop a grand on a new washer and dryer. So we thought why not give this place try!

We drove to this lovely establishment to find that the appliances were indeed dirt cheap, but would they work properly was the question? So for some reason, we continued to look and ended up finding a decent looking washer and a dryer that looked like it would work most of the time. So we bought them.

Days later the men delivered the set of appliances to our home. Here’s where it gets interesting. The washer got into place with minimal hassle, but the dryer was dropped out of the truck, left in the rain while the washer was being installed and the dryer ended up not working. So many calls, and two “new” dryers later….we have a working dryer.

After a few days of the washer working beautifully, it began to not work! But we were able to rig the washer, by placing free weights on the lid so the cycle would run. So long story, kinda short, we have a “working” washer and dryer….that we have to pray over and cross our fingers every time we do laundry. All that to say laundry is an adventure and makes for a good laugh now.

 

4:00 pm

Around 4:30 or 5:00 pm, I get a call from my husband to let me know that he is on the way home! Best call of the day. He gets home, and we put his work stuff away and he helps me with dinner.

6:00 pm

Dinner time! I am not very creative when I comes to dinners (I’m getting better), but on Tuesdays we have Tacos! Taco Tuesday! We typically try to eat dinner around 6:30 pm, so we can have time to just enjoy eating dinner together. Over dinner, we exchange detailed accounts of each of our days. I love this little tradition. It’s sweet, and we get to feel like we have a peek into the other person’s day.

8:00 pm

After dinner, we put our dishes away and prepare lunches and coffee for the next day. My husband is super organized and efficient. The Lord knew I needed a man like that.

Once we are prepared for the next day, we wind down by watching tv. Our current favorite show is Designated Survivor on ABC! We eventually make our way upstairs, brush our teeth, and are in bed by 9:30 pm! I know it’s early, but we are both nicer and more civil when we have had ample amounts of sleep.

10:00 pm

Oh, we only stay up this late on the weekends 😉 Our weekends consist of cinnamon rolls, late and slow mornings, and watching movies!

Want to share about a typical day in your shoes? Submit your Day-in-the-Life here.

Day-in-the-Life: Amy (41)

Welcome to a Day-in-the-Life where we get an inside look at how individual military spouses fill a typical day and keep their wits about them by hunting the good stuff. 

*****

My name is Amy. I am 41 years old and have been married 19 years. My husband has served in the Army for 17 years. One thing that I can’t live without is chocolate!

6:00 am:

My day begins at the ungodly hour of 4:00 am. I’ve always been an early riser but have found that these two hours of ‘me time’ are crucial to surviving deployment-induced solo parenting and working full time.

I begin my day with 45 minutes of walking or running. I wish I was running more but let me be honest, at 4:00 am I don’t have much energy to push myself. I like being outside because it is so quiet and calm. This morning I’m listening to Melanie Dale’s podcast “Lighten Up”. Her guest for today is Candace Payne AKA “Chewbacca Mom” and she is sharing how she has joy despite some difficult life situations that she has experienced.

This message of joy is timely as I am feeling the exact opposite right now. It’s been a difficult week of parenting but Candace’s words remind me that God uses every situation for His good and it is my choice to embrace the joy in every situation.

I come home from my morning walk and spend the next 20 minutes reading my Bible and writing in my journal. I savor the cup of caramel vanilla cream coffee that is my companion on these early mornings. I finish my time out with a quick glance at Facebook to catch up with family and friends who are spread all over the country and world.

I have 30 minutes to get myself ready before kids start to wake up. I make my bed and go downstairs to unload the dishwasher which was run the night before. I pack up our lunch boxes which are put together the night before as well. Slowly the girls come downstairs and eat their breakfast, pack up their backpacks, and get ready for their day. We go over our day’s activities and we scatter to our respective schools.

 

8:00 am:

I work with at-risk kids at a local school. These are kids who struggle academically, socially, and behaviorally. It’s not an easy job, but one that I feel called to in this season of life. I get to be the first person that kids see when they get to school in the morning.

I always make a point to greet everyone by name and welcome them back. I get lots of hugs, hear stories of their games the night before, and even get some complaints and concerns that I know I will have to investigate once school begins. Once everyone is in their classrooms, I begin to make some phone calls to parents, meet with students who are struggling, and get a quick moment to sit down to catch up on some documentation.

I had a conversation with a parent this morning about how we have noticed increased behaviors in her child and she shares that Dad has been TDY for the past month. The teacher was not aware and knowing it would have been really helpful in working with this particular student. It reminded me how I sometimes get too used to my husband coming and going and how I forget that these changes greatly impact our children in different ways.

 

10:00 am:

I am halfway through my morning when I realize that I am getting hungry. I usually snack on half of a Larabar or get a handful of cashews to eat. I don’t always get the chance to eat something because I am constantly on call to go work with students around our building. I get summoned to one of the classrooms to remove a student who is being disruptive. I often joke that much of my job can be summarized by the last bullet point on nearly every job description: “All other duties as assigned.”

My principal often has miscellaneous jobs that she needs done or asks to me investigate a parent concern. One of the things that I like most about my job is that no day is ever the same. This is my first time working during a deployment and I am so thankful that it helps my days to fly by.

At 11:20 each day I head into the lunchroom to assist with setting up for lunch. We begin seating kids for lunch at 11:30 and the first 30 minutes are the youngest students who require much assistance to sit down and need help opening their prepackaged food and drink boxes. I clean up spills, and encourage them to eat. As lunch progresses, the kids get older and are more independent. Lunch is a more informal part of the day and it’s an opportunity to really get to talk to and get to know our students.

12:00 pm:

All the kids have finished eating and the last ones are out at recess which means I finally get to eat my lunch. I’m the last person to eat lunch in the building and I always bring in some leftovers from dinner the night before. My phone dings and I see that I have gotten a text from my husband who is getting ready to start his shift.

He had a recent schedule change and is waiting to catch the bus to head to his office. We talk about our respective days over the next 15 minutes. There is so much about his job that he can’t share so there are days when our conversations are one-sided. We’ve both had a hard week and I attribute most of this to my growing realization that we are both so ‘war weary.’

We don’t know of any other military families who have been through as many deployments as us and we are JUST SO TIRED. We have three years left until retirement so there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The op-tempo of the military life has been challenging and we are growing more ready by the day to leave it behind. There have been many blessings along the way but it has been at a great cost to our family. We say our goodbyes and each head back to work.

2:00 pm:

After lunch I begin to do some last minute preparations for deployment group which starts at 2:30. We have a large population of military kids at our school and so we have a weekly deployment group that meets. Our group is so large that we have to break it down into two groups, so each group meets every other week.

Working with the military kids is one of the favorite parts of my job and I know that it is reassuring to many of them that my own family is right there in the deployment trenches with them. Our group always begins with a time of sharing as kids announce when their deployed parent has left or come home. It’s a time of rejoicing and sadness depending on the situation.

Today we are spending our time on a craft making paper bag soldier puppets. We allow them to choose a male or female soldier to color and before long, we have a room full of excited students showing off their puppet which they have colored to look exactly like their military parent. We only get 30 minutes with the kids and I often wish that we had more time or were able to meet with a smaller group of students, because the need is that great for them to understand that someone knows what they are going through.

It’s almost time for kids to be dismissed for the day and so I’m busy cleaning up from our craft and rushing to collect the kids who ride the bus or are going to an after-school program. Once everyone has left the building, I finish up some paperwork, update some teachers on issues with their students, and prepare to head home.

 

4:00 pm:

When I get home, I find both of my kids have had their afternoon snack and have started on their homework. I love having older kids who are able to do most of their homework independently. I go through today’s mail and quiz both kids on how their day went and what teachers need for them to do that night.

I collect their lunch boxes which have been placed on the kitchen counter and put the dirty containers into the dishwasher. I look at the menu posted on my refrigerator to see what I have planned for dinner tonight.

There are many things that I dislike about deployments, but one thing that I do like, is being able to cook simpler meals. I only have to cook a few days each week and the rest of the days we eat leftovers. Once homework is done and their rooms are cleaned up, I allow them to watch 30 minutes of TV. When dinner is ready, I’ll call them to come help set the table.

 

6:00 pm:

We eat dinner together and always go over our ‘highs’ and ‘lows’ for the day. This simple tradition helps all of us to open up about how our day went. I always like to ask my kids if anything funny happened that day at school. After our meal is complete, the girls help me clean up and load the dishwasher. Counters are wiped off, dining room chairs pushed in, and school computers get plugged in to charge overnight.

I like things neat and orderly around the house and have trained my daughters to get into a routine of having coats and backpacks ready by the door. The girls head up to shower and I usually finish up a few household chores or read my book. I am an avid reader and like to read every night. My energy and patience are starting to run thin and so I put on my comfy pajamas, get teeth brushed, and take my contacts out.

 

8:00 pm:

My goal each night is to have kids in their bedrooms by 8:00-8:15. I always tell them that they don’t have to go to sleep but they can do a quiet activity in bed like read, draw, or color. My oldest is always ready to go straight to sleep. My youngest would stay up until midnight if I let her.

I go into each of their rooms to tuck them in. I’m ready to fall asleep myself but nighttime is always a time when they suddenly become talkative and self-reflective. I try not to rush these moments. I pray with each of them and say goodnight. I immediately go to my own bed and spent the last 45 minutes of my night checking Facebook and reading my book. Lights are out by 9:00 pm because my morning wake up call comes way too early.

 

 

 

Want to share about a typical day in your shoes? Submit your Day-in-the-Life here.

Day in the Life: Hannah (36)

Welcome to a Day-in-the-Life where we get an inside look at how individual military spouses fill a typical day and keep their wits about them by hunting the good stuff. 

*****

I’m Hannah, a 36 year old small business owner, homeschool mom, and wife of a retired veteran. My husband and I have been married for 12 years. My husband served in the Marines and the Army. I can’t live without coffee, chocolate, and exercise. You can find me at www.hannahstoffel.com.

Retirement sprang up on us a bit sooner than we expected. The transition wasn’t perfect but I’m continually amazed at God’s faithfulness and His blessings. If I could give any new military spouse one piece of advice, it would be this; military life is what you make it. Get involved in your military community and enjoy what each duty station has to offer. Being a military spouse is an amazing thing and it goes by SO fast – enjoy each day! 

 

6:00 am:

This is my quiet time. Most mornings I’m up at 5:00 am. While I often set my alarm, I really don’t need to. We have three cats who have clever ways of getting me out of bed if they feel I’m sleeping in too long. If you’ve ever had cats, then you know what I’m talking about.

I empty the dishwasher, put on a pot of coffee, have my lemon water and feed the cats. After my few chores I do my devotions. I find if I don’t spend time in my Bible early in the morning then it just doesn’t get done.

I also use this time to work my business. I’m a Certified Health Coach. My primary focus is teaching women how to eat to look and feel their best, with an emphasis on women struggling with adult acne.

My own health struggles and struggle with acne brought me to this place so it’s all very near and dear to my heart. I write content for my blog and work on my book (so weird to say out loud). I find I write best early in the morning, when my mind feels fresh and there are no distractions from the day.

 

8:00 am:

By now everyone in the house is awake and any hope of me continuing to write is lost. My husband is currently finishing his bachelor’s degree. As a full time student his schedule varies some from day to day. Some days he’s up and out early and other days he doesn’t leave until 9:00 am.

Regardless of when my husband leaves for the day, he’s not a person who requires breakfast so I only have to worry about fixing something for myself and our girls. I’m a bit obsessed with nutrition but I also LOVE food and taste really matters to me.

I use a nutrition shake every morning. The irony of this situation? I am NOT a fan of smoothies or shakes – like, at all. I know people equate them with health and when people think of eating healthy, a nutrition shake or smoothie often comes to mind. I find smoothies leave me feeling as if I haven’t eaten anything (since you don’t actually chew), and leave me wanting more.

Despite this I believe in the nutrition so as a compromise I make myself a thicker textured, smoothie bowl and top with it with unsweetened shredded coconut, raw nuts, and frozen organic blueberries. I can’t even tell you the difference between using this method versus simply mixing the shake with almond milk and blending it. It’s like night and day! I make a similar version of this for my girls.

After breakfast, we start our school day. History, geography, and a short devotion make up our morning. I also try to knock out spelling or math.

 

10:00 am:

By this time my girls are ready for a break. It’s the routine I’ve established so I can fit in my workout. They’ve become so accustomed to our routine that the few times I’ve tried to change it, it’s completely blown up in my face.

It’s important to me to exercise and I’m not a woman who is content with ‘taking the stairs’ or simply ‘counting my steps for the day’. When I say exercise, I mean a full hour of devoted time, showing up for myself and really sweating.

I use Tracy Anderson Method which I love for many reasons. Two main reasons are: 1) I can do it in my own home which eliminates traveling to a gym, making sure I have the latest, cutest leggings and that my hair looks half way decent. 2) It’s completely changed my body, especially post babies, unlike any other fitness program I have ever done.

Some days my girls hang out with me while I work out. During this time I give them freedom to choose what they want to do. Usually they play together with Barbies or horses.

By now we are all getting hungry for lunch but I like to get a little more school work finished before we eat. We usually do a handwriting assignment followed by reading. A funny secret is my girls love to watch “I Love Lucy” during our lunch break. They know in order for that to happen their reading and handwriting has to be done. It gives them a bit of incentive to finish on time.

12:00 pm:

Typically we’re finishing up lunch. My girls like to eat grilled cheese sandwiches. I always add a fruit and a vegetable to their plate. Green beans, cherry tomatoes, and carrots with ranch dressings are their favorites. Apples, bananas, oranges, and grapes are all commonplace in our house. Basically whatever fruit is in season you’ll find it in my home.

My lunch varies based on my mood. While I’m not a vegan, many of my meals are! I do a lot of stir-fry type meals and work off of whatever I have in my fridge at the time. I typically always have zucchini to make zucchini noodles.

I always have cabbage on hand because when you shred it, it immediately becomes a base for just about any dish. I do everything from egg roll-in-a-bowl to a stir-fry pizza using cabbage. I also like to keep homemade black bean burgers on hand. Depending on the flavor of my stir-fry I either add raw nuts, a fried egg or a black bean burger for extra protein.

On my husband’s shorter days, he comes home around this time. He’s usually starving. Remember, he doesn’t eat breakfast?! I like to give him some space in the kitchen so he can fix his cup of coffee and grab some lunch.

2:00 pm:

We are finishing up our school day. Usually by 3:00 pm we’ve completed all our assignments. The girls play outside and quite often we’ll go for a walk together. It’s nice to soak in the sunshine and fresh air.

Running my own business while being a homeschool mom means finding pockets of time in the day that suit both ventures. I have learned that it’s not wise for me to try to mix the two.

When I try to work on my business during the school day, I end up not doing either thing very well. It works best when I give both jobs the full, undivided attention they deserve. I use this time to finish up any work that didn’t get completed in the morning. It’s also the time of day that I schedule one-on-one sessions with my private coaching clients.

 

4:00 pm:

I am preparing dinner. It’s important to me to get dinner started on time. I prefer not to eat late and I feel like kids get whiny when they have to wait too long for dinner. Lately, I’ve been out of my normal routine a bit and dinner prep hasn’t been happening until 5:00 pm, which means we don’t eat until 6:00 pm.

As I’m writing this, I’m reminded of how much better I feel when dinner is served earlier in the evening. I simply don’t feel as frantic about it. My husband is home every evening so we always have dinner together as a family.

 

6:00 pm:

Dinner has been served. The kitchen is cleaned up. The girls are getting their showers or bath. My husband is a big help to me during this part of the day. I’m usually exhausted at this point and ready for bed. Remember, I wake up at 5:00 am!

 

8:00 pm:

Our girls have been read to, teeth have been brushed, and they are put to bed. My husband and I watch TV together. We find a series we like on Netflix or Hulu. This is our time to talk about our day and relax.

 

10:00 pm:

By 10:00 I am sound asleep. My husband usually stays up a bit later depending on his schedule for the following day.

*****

As a bonus to Dependent Diaries readers, Hannah has offered a free resource for those who may be struggling with clear skin. Follow the instructions here.

 

Want to share about a typical day in your shoes? Submit your Day-in-the-Life here.

Day-in-the-Life: Tiffany (34)

Welcome to a Day-in-the-Life where we get an inside look at how individual military spouses fill a typical day and keep their wits about them by hunting the good stuff. 

*****

Tiffany and her husband of 11 years have two wonderful boys. Her husband has been an active duty soldier in the Army for 12 years. Wherever the Army sends her family, she strives to find work in her field and find a balance between family, marriage, and work. The thing Tiffany can’t live without is her box of notecards – she enjoys keeping in touch with friends and family through hand-written notes.

6:00 am

Light is starting to shine through the windows. I hear the floor creak. Our oldest child has walked into our room and is asking if he can go downstairs to quietly play. Before I can answer, mumblings and the start of a cry sound from our youngest’s room.

It is 6:25am – they have a knack for waking before my 6:30am alarm. My soldier left the house thirty minutes ago, it was his day for the early shift. Once I’ve had a few sips of hot tea, I begin making breakfast. Cereal and toast with jelly for the oldest, yogurt, Cheerios, banana, and breakfast sausage (microwavable) for the youngest, and scrambled eggs and toast for me.

Breakfast is sometimes a bit too ambitious, but it doubles as time to review our oldest’s school work – spelling words and the week’s memory Bible verse. Next, I pack our oldest child’s lunch and include a “lunch line,” a small paper with a printed joke. I usually giggle at how silly these are and sometimes wonder if he will get the punch line.

We all move back upstairs to get dressed for the day. My oldest wears a uniform, I put on a dress and a cardigan, and my youngest is the most comfortable of all in cotton pants and shirt. We bottleneck at the front door, all trying to put on shoes, coats, and assorted bags (backpacks, purse, diaper bag).

I sigh and think how I hope we never again live in a townhouse with so many stairs, no garage, and a tiny backyard. My mind wanders to the many houses we have lived in during our time in the Army, each with aspects I loved and features I could have done without.

I tell myself these residences are helping us make an ideal “blueprint” for when we finally settle down. I am brought back to reality by requests for shoe tying and jacket zipping.

 

8:00 am

I drop the oldest off at school. I am thankful he still gives me a hug and lets me kiss him on the cheek. While driving our youngest to an at-home daycare, he points out the window and says “bus” and “plane.” Words are relatively new to him and I adore hearing his little voice and his excitement when seeing what many of us would consider usual modes of transportation.

Before leaving daycare, I cover his little chubby cheeks in kisses. I return to my car and turn on a Christian radio station. The uplifting music and positive messages help prepare my heart and mind for the day and my nerves for the remainder of my morning commute.

For the next hour, I take public transportation to work. When we first moved here, I struggled with this commute, but I have learned to embrace this ride as “me time.” I usually have my nose in a book or I look out the window at the city landscape when my motion sickness gets the best of me.

 

10:00 am

I have arrived at work. I say a quick “good morning” to co-workers in the surrounding cubicles. I turn on my computer, which has been off for the past week, and start checking e-mail.

I am thankful that currently I work part-time and I am blessed that the majority of this time is from home, with one day a week in the office. I have grown to enjoy my time in the office, particularly because it allows for adult conversation, which is sometimes lacking when my soldier has early mornings and late nights.

Mid-morning, my soldier checks in via text message. He sends a link to an interesting news article, followed by sentiments of “I love you and I hope you have a great day.”

 

12:00 pm

I join a co-worker and we walk to lunch at a nearby restaurant – my favorites are a superb salad place and a flavorful Mediterranean grill. I look forward to this meal for two reasons: 1) it is not the usual lunch I eat at home on all other weekdays (e.g., peanut butter and honey sandwich, leftovers), and 2) it promotes a better working relationship with discussion beyond purely work to that of family, friends, travel, and hobbies.

When I return to the office, I wonder if my oldest liked his lunch and if he understood the joke. I hope my youngest ate well and is enjoying an afternoon nap. I recall my soldier saying he had an important lunch meeting today – I pray that it is going well.

At 1:00 pm, I enter the office of my boss for a meeting. We have worked together for three years. We discuss progress on current projects, clarify questions, and outline next steps. Despite her knowledge of our upcoming relocation with the Army, she is optimistic that I can continue working with her as a remote employee. I am grateful for her continued mentorship and support of my career.

 

2:00 pm

I gather my backpack and purse and say “goodbye” to fellow co-workers as I exit the office. I see that some of my younger co-workers are deeply immersed in what appears to be endless hours of work.

I feel the pull of desire to have a more successful professional career. However, I promptly shake the thought out of my head and reflect on the joy I feel of being a mom and the pride that exudes from being an Army wife.

It is difficult to balance family, work, and a marriage to a soldier. I think to times when I committed more to being a supporting spouse, to being a loving mother, or to a dedicated full-time employee. These roles have varied by where we lived and my soldier’s assignment and have been chosen after much prayer and seeking God’s guidance.

My return ride on public transportation is thankfully uneventful and without delays. While waiting in the car line to pick up our oldest from school, I receive a text message photo of our youngest at daycare curiously spreading finger paint on paper and his forehead. I smile and forward the photo to my soldier.

Our oldest climbs into the car and we drive to the daycare. He tells me about his day – how he made it to the third monkey bar on the playground, that his class celebrated a student’s birthday with mini-cupcakes, and how they learned about Jonah and the whale during Chapel. I am reminded how blessed we are that our oldest is able to receive a faith-based education. I wonder which type of school he will attend when we move – public, private (e.g., Christian), or on-post?

 

4:00 pm

We arrive home and our oldest gets thirty minutes of play time while I treasure snuggles with our youngest. We watch Thomas & Friends while stacking blocks again and again. Next, we all eat an afternoon snack – our favorite is graham crackers with peanut butter. Then, I help our oldest with his homework. Through trial and error, I’ve learned that this routine of play, snack, then homework works well for our oldest.

Around 5:00 pm, I touch base with my soldier to see what time he thinks he will be home. Thankfully, tonight is an earlier night – he thinks he will be home around 6:45 pm. I decide to push back dinner so we can all eat together. I give the boys some grapes as an additional small snack to help them hold off hunger until dinner.

 

6:00 pm

Our oldest takes an early shower, with hopes of playing a board game or computer game with dad after dinner. Next, I bathe our youngest and dress him in footie pajamas. I wish they made these pajamas in adult sizes, and that they were considered socially acceptable in public – they seem so comfortable. With that thought, I change into yoga pants and a T-shirt.

With the boys clean and entertained by toys in the living room, I start to cook dinner. Tonight we are having chicken spaghetti and a green salad. Around 7:00 pm, we all, our soldier included, join around the dining room table. We say a blessing and we smile when our youngest clasps his hands together and mumbles during the prayer. He is learning and I pray our example always directs him towards God.

Over the meal, our oldest retells about his day to our soldier and we recount the highlights from our workdays. After dinner, I read a board book to our youngest and rock him to sleep. Our oldest and our soldier play a quick round of Chutes and Ladders and then read before being tucked into bed.

 

8:00 pm

My soldier and I do the dishes and tidy toys. We both scan work e-mails to ensure nothing pressing remains un-done before we rest. We relax on the couch while watching a show on Netflix, usually a comedy that is three-to-five years old – we are behind on TV watching.

We discuss tomorrow’s plans and he explains a change in our upcoming move plans. Although frustrated with the thoughts of adjusting our relocation arrangements (again), I recognize how fortunate we have been these last few years. Our soldier has not been separated from us for extended periods of time and we have led a more civilian-like lifestyle.

While I anxiously await my soldier’s next assignment, I look forward to being near family and reestablishing routines centered around Army-life, such as unit meetings and spouse coffees. Around 9:30 pm, we settle into our comfy bed and exchange goodnight kisses. I usually read for a little while, but my soldier is asleep within minutes.

 

10:00 pm

We are all asleep, likely to be woken at least once in the night by our youngest for comforting mid-night snuggles.

 

Want to share about a typical day in your shoes? Submit your Day-in-the-Life here.

PCSing at Christmas: 5 Ways to Embrace It

A PCS (or Permanent Change of Station) is one of the most tiring, emotional, and exasperating times in the life of a military family. Tensions are high and energy is down. A move is often cited as one of the most stressful occurrences in a person’s life, right up there with a death or a divorce.

Military families will move, on average, nearly ten times more than their civilian counterparts. At some point during a service-member’s career, a winter move or PCS is a likely event. During a season like Christmas that can already feel taxing on its own, adding a relocation into the mix may leave you feeling like hiding in one of your moving boxes and waiting it out until the first signs of spring.

As you know, Dependent Diaries is a place to promote the modest, daily ideals and routines of successful, happy, and fulfilled military spouses. One way to promote joy and fulfillment is to “flip the script,” or determine to change your mind on how you see a situation.

A winter PCS doesn’t have to be a drag. From light-hearted to serious, from the practical to the soulful, here are five ways to embrace it and make the most of moving at Christmas.

 

DON’T BE A GRINCH:

Maybe you aren’t tempted to steal Christmas items from Whoville, but you are guilty of stealing the joy and fun out of your days by worrying, fretting, and feeling sorry for yourself. Quit wallowing in your frustrations. Quit bemoaning how tired, stressed, or overwhelmed you feel. We all know that our attitudes deeply affect not only ourselves, but those around us. Cheer up!

Treat your family, your friends, and your neighbors with kindness and don’t let your MOVE dictate your MOOD. It can be very easy to let rejuvenating sleep, good nutrition, fresh air, or regular exercise fall by the wayside during a PCS. Try to maintain good routines and self-care as much as possible. Some say that prolonged grouchiness can lead to a heart that is two sizes too small. Instead…

 

BE A BUDDY:

Life is too short to be a Cotton-Headed-Ninny-Muggins. Just because you’re moving doesn’t mean that you should isolate yourself from your tribe. Summer moves may naturally lend themselves to meeting new friends at the community pool or playground. In the winter, those chance meetings may be more difficult to come by. During the colder months it’s tempting to stay bundled up inside our own houses. Instead, reach out and network to find connections at your next assignment.

Stay connected to your family members even if your move won’t allow for a trip home for the holidays this year. Make a tentative plan for a visit when the dust settles and the boxes are unpacked…even if that may be months away.

And most certainly, invest what time you have with your friends before the moving truck rolls out. It may feel easy to hide behind the business of your PCS, but a night out for coffee, one last dinner, or even a playdate for the mamas and the kids will go a long way in soothing your heart before you must say goodbye.

 

WRITE A NEW CHRISTMAS STORY:

For many military families it can be difficult to maintain strict holiday traditions due to the nature of service and duty. In 2012, my husband deployed on December 23. We celebrated our Christmas morning weeks before that and in an attempt to travel home, the kids and I were actually stranded at the Dallas Fort Worth airport on Christmas Day due to an ice storm that grounded nearly every plane there. Talk about a non-traditional Christmas.

When you’re moving in December, it can be difficult to ensure that all of the things you love and cherish about a holiday will get done. Maybe you won’t be trimming a tree or hanging stockings. Maybe your kids won’t get to participate in the Christmas pageant this year. Maybe you won’t send out your annual Christmas card. Maybe you’re just not feeling the Christmas spirit.

The good news is there’s no one right or wrong way to “do” Christmas. Let your winter PCS offer you freedom to create new traditions. Do something fun. Do something out of the ordinary. Do something that will make a memory…even if it isn’t what you’re used to doing every December. Let yourself off the hook from past expectations to do it all. Instead keep it simple. Just don’t shoot your eye out!

 

ENJOY BEING HOME ALONE:

Speaking of changing traditions, chances are good that if you are PCSing in December, you may not make a trip to visit your extended family right on Christmas. Instead, you and your immediate family may be unpacking boxes and settling in at your new assignment, well…alone.

While it can be natural to feel sad or lonely about this prospect, take a page out of Kevin McCallister’s book. Enjoy it! Granted your on-post housing probably pales in comparison Peter and Kate’s well appointed mansion, but the point is that Kevin doesn’t let a holiday home alone get him down. He watches movies, indulges in pizza and lots of ice cream, attends a Christmas Eve service, goes shopping, and makes friends with his neighbor in the absence of his extended family. Not a bad way to spend a holiday if you ask me.

There’s plenty of Rocking Around the Christmas Tree that can still be enjoyed despite some of the unpleasantness of a winter move.

 

And finally…and most importantly, remember…

 

IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE:

Maybe, like George Bailey, you are living a life you never imagined or dreamed you would be living. Maybe it isn’t the life you wanted or thought you’d have. Maybe, like George Bailey, as you age, you see your youth, dreams, and opportunities pass you by.

Maybe like George Bailey, if feels like you aren’t getting your chance to fulfill your life’s ambitions because you are busy fulfilling a call to stand beside, a call to serve, a call to your country.

In the midst of a relocation, the ensuing emotions and strain can cause us to easily slide into a mentality that there may be more to life than all of this moving, shifting, and changing. Being a military family comes with a lot of sacrifice.

 

“The real lesson of ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ is that what you think you want out of life and how we spend our days in it, may not be nearly as important as the vital layers accumulating within you, hidden in plain sight.

 

Love for friends and family, the decency we exchange with those around us, the value of not doing ‘great things’ but small things in a great way. Those are life’s moments inscribed in our heart.

And what this wonderful film reminds us to do — should auld lessons be forgot and never brought to mind — is to take our heart out and read it every so often. At least every Christmas.” (source)

 

A winter move is the perfect opportunity to consider the opportunity our families have been given to serve our nation. Though exhausting and demanding at times, it truly is a wonderful life!

*****

What ways do you see a PCS during December as a blessing? What’s the upside to a winter move? Do you have a favorite, loved Christmas movie that offers a lesson for military families during this season? Dependent Diaries would love to hear from you!