Read This: After the Boxes Are Unpacked

Every so often, I want to use this space to share about a book that may not necessarily be written with a military audience in mind, but offers practical insights that can apply to the nuances that military members and spouses certainly face. 

*****

I want to recommend Susan Miller’s book, After the Boxes Are Unpacked.

Maybe it’s just the season of life I’m finding myself in, one of preparing for our second move in a calendar year. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ll be saying goodbye to a wonderful group of friends that I’ve grown incredibly close with over these past six months. Maybe it’s the physical exhaustion I’m already anticipating of setting up another house in another state…again.

At any rate, this upcoming transition had me looking back through and re-reading parts of Miller’s book in order to pump myself up.

In her incredibly kind and warm way, Miller weaves personal tales of many of her own moves and her ensuing emotions into all 18 chapters of her book. She divides it up into three parts:

Part I: Let Go

She covers things like dealing with all you’ve left behind, remembering back while looking forward, pressures that contribute to the overload factor in moving, recognizing how deeply the move is affecting you, understanding your emotional baggage, and identifying your feelings and emotions.

Part II: Start Over

In this section, you’ll get tips on how to make your house a home, growing through your move, things you need to do and things you need to know, dealing with the loneliness you feel, finding your lost identity, strengthening your marriage after  move, helping your children adjust and adapt, and making new friends.

Part III: Move Ahead

Finally, Miller encourages readers about finding contentment in their circumstances, charging into the future with enthusiasm, and relying on the One who moves with you.

*****

While not military-move specific, Miller’s book gleans wisdom from many moves and insights of dozens of other women who have successfully navigated the muddy waters of relocation.

You’ll find humor, tenderness, “Survival Kit” suggestions as well as “Heart Talk.” If you are feeling emotional about an upcoming or recent move, Susan Miller’s words will be a balm to your soul.

…all these women have an unwavering faith, an inner strength, and an enduring perseverance which allowed them to overcome their obstacles in moving…

Read This: Own Your Life

Every so often, I want to use this space to share about a book that may not necessarily be written with a military audience in mind, but offers practical insights that can apply to the nuances that military members and spouses certainly face. 

*****

I want to recommend Sally Clarkson’s book, Own Your Life: Living With Deep Intention, Bold Faith, and Generous Love.

If you’ve  never read Sally Clarkson, her words are like a welcoming balm to your soul. She shares in this book (and all of her others) learned truths from her own years of finding her way.

In Own Your Life she encourages readers to consider taking action for fulfilling the calling God has placed before them…something I think military spouses often struggle with as our circumstances and surroundings change so frequently.

The book is divided into sections like:

• Barriers to Owning Your Life: Don’t Settle for a Mediocre Life
• Owning Your Vision: Mapping Your Life Purpose
• Owning Your Life by Giving God Control: What Only He Can Do
• Owning Your Life by Partnering with God: Attitudes and Actions That Transform
• Owning Your Life by Loving Well: Create a Lasting Legacy

 

One of the many encouraging thoughts from Clarkson’s book reveals this:

“Stewarding your life wisely can bring great confidence, excellence of character, and peace of mind–and lead you to create a legacy, a story worth telling. But it begins with determination on your part to make a wise plan, to forge reasonable goals, to listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit, and to trust God to lead you on a path of spiritual renewal and strength…

…Each day, you are writing the story that your life will tell throughout eternity. As you recommit to God’s values and priorities, every choice you make and every action you take will move you toward the exceptional life for which you were made.”

Clarkson uses Truth, her own struggles in marriage, parenting, and self-discovery, and her steady but calm cheerleader voice to tell readers that it’s time to quit watching life pass you by. It’s time to be intentional and figure out what good and wonderful plans God has in mind for you and to walk in them.

The idea that we are living a story is one that is firmly planted in the mission of Dependent Diaries. In your daily routines and habits, you are writing a story of your own. What is the legacy others will read about when they read the story of your life?

 

Dependent Diaries would love to hear from you. How do you “make wise plans” or “forge reasonable goals?” What are your “values” and “priorities?”

Read This: Braving the Wilderness

Every so often, I want to use this space to share about a book that may not necessarily be written with a military audience in mind, but offers practical insights that can apply to the nuances that military members and spouses certainly face. 

*****

I want to recommend Brene’ Brown’s new release Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone.

The entire book is based on Brown’s social science research about the idea of of fitting in, pretending, and making other people around us feel comfortable. She asserts that there are four practices of true belonging that require us to “be vulnerable, get uncomfortable, and learn how to be with people without sacrificing who we are and what we value.”

• People Are Hard to Hate Close Up. Move In.
• Speak truth to BS. Be Civil.
• Hold Hands. With Strangers.
• Strong Back. Soft Front. Wild Heart.

That’s the stuff you will read on the book jacket of Brown’s book. Here’s the book’s most beautiful and meaningful quote that struck me; it reminds me of the exact idea of what Dependent Diaries is all about.

“Art has the power to render sorrow beautiful, make loneliness a shared experience, and transform despair into hope. Only art can take the holler of a returning soldier and turn it into a shared expression and a deep, collective experience. Music, like all art, gives pain and our most wrenching emotions voice, language, and form, so it can be recognized and shared. The magic of the high lonesome sound is the magic of all art: the ability to both capture our pain and deliver us from it at the same time.”

She goes on to say,

“…When we hear someone else sing about the jagged edges of heartache or the unspeakable nature of grief, we immediately know we’re not the only ones in pain. The transformative power of art is in this sharing…It’s the sharing of art that whispers, ‘You’re not alone.'”

Brown’s book gives evidence and practical steps for finding our way back to ourselves, but this theme of the beauty of our shared experiences is what resonated with me the most.

Dependent Diaries would love to hear from you. How do you find and make connections to other military spouses? Does this come easily and naturally to you? How do you overcome what Brown calls “that lonely feeling” in a life of constant change?